It works! Did something good happen to you today? Write it in a journal. However, I know that one person out of the millions that surround me every day caused this. There will be others worthy of my trust. Crying has health benefits such as releasing toxins from your body and relieving stress. Actually, this is true. When we suppress or block our emotions, our body uses physical strategies such as constricting muscles, altering breathing and so forth.
These behaviors over time can lead to physical symptoms with digestion, chronic pain or immune related issues. Does it hurt you to see your loved ones suffering? The same goes for your loved ones when they see you suffering. Let them in, it benefits both them and you. Humans are social creatures, isolating yourself ends up exacerbating your pain. Write down everything that is good and positive.
Are you thankful for your loving mother? Your supportive father? Even something like having a roof over your head counts. Write it all down and reflect upon it. Practicing gratitude can give you perspective. The point is not to disregard negative emotions. Rather, the point is to also recognize the good. A nice individual or family ritual to keep a gratitude jar. One of the best ways to heal from hurts is to learn lessons from the situation and use those to focus on growth and forward momentum.
How you talk to yourself can either move you forward or keep you stuck. Often, having a mantra that you tell yourself in times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thoughts. Focusing on yourself is important. When you think about a person who caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. The more we can bring our focus to the present moment, says Lisa Olivera , a licensed marriage and family therapist, the less impact our past or future has on us.
Olivera says this looks like treating ourselves like we would treat a friend, offering ourselves self-compassion, and avoiding comparisons between our journey and those of others. In fact, Durvasula says that many times, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, disappointment, or sadness. Rather than feeling them, people just try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of letting go.
Waiting for an apology from the person who hurt you will slow down the process of letting go. When we are hurting, it often feels like there is nothing but hurt. Olivera says practicing self-care can look like setting boundaries, saying no, doing the things that bring us joy and comfort, and listening to our own needs first. Breathing gently through your nose and into your heart can help open the heart chakra , which is often blocked when you're going through emotional pain.
Breathe this way for 5 to 10 minutes to start, continuing for longer if you like. Again, pay attention to any emotions that arise and allow them to surface without judgment.
You might feel sadness and the need to cry. Don't hold anything in. Using the voice to release emotion is really cathartic. It helps propel stuck energy out of our bodies and leaves us in a more peaceful state.
Some people repress anger for a lifetime because they've been taught it's wrong or bad to feel anger. It isn't. Even if you don't feel angry, screaming can be a great energetic release. So, grab a pillow, stuff your face into it, and scream until you feel like you're done. If you find yourself needing to cry, let it out. You might feel a sudden burst of happiness or giddiness and want to start laughing.
Whatever you feel, just go with it. Our bodies need movement. Try playing an upbeat song you love and letting your body move however it wants to move. See if you end up getting lost in the song. You might just find yourself experiencing a little joy. Sometimes we're in so much emotional pain that dancing just doesn't feel possible. In those cases, getting outside and taking a walk can help lift your mood enough to make a huge difference in your day.
If you are feeling depressed, consider finding a new hobby or project to complete. Hobbies have been shown to create improved physical and mental health. National Institutes of Health Go to source For example, everyone has a list of things they would like to accomplish, but don't have the time. Well, now you do have the time. Sit down and make a new list.
Try a new hobby, such as photography, painting, or cooking. Discover a new love of literature. Volunteer your time to a cause. One way of coping with emotional pain is to volunteer your time, resources, or expertise to a worthy cause or individual.
Volunteering will help you develop new skills, begin or strengthen your connection with your community, offer you new experiences and the opportunity to meet a diverse range of people. It can also provide a boost to your self-esteem, personal development, and align your actions with your values. National Institutes of Health Go to source You will feel a "giver's high. This might include visiting the elderly, helping at an animal shelter, or running fundraisers for a local theatre production company.
The opportunities are out there. Visit the United Nations-sponsored website for resources linked to being a volunteer at www. Get moving. Find a new form of exercise. Biking, hiking, and yoga can all fill your time while making you feel great. Focus on your health. Up to one-third of people directly affected by a painful loss will physically and emotionally suffer. National Institutes of Health Go to source While you may feel anxious, depressed and too exhausted to take action, you cannot ignore your needs.
Consider participating in 15 minutes of meditation or yoga each day. National Institutes of Health Go to source This can make you feel more in touch with your mind and body and more calm for the rest of the day. Fill your schedule with new agenda items. Sitting around missing someone will only make you feel worse. Sometimes you need to occupy yourself with new, more interesting things to do. Have you ever thought about learning to play a musical instrument, or becoming a master gardener?
Now might be your time. National Institutes of Health Go to source The loss of someone may leave large gaps of time that used to be filled with fun activities. Focus on filling your schedule with as many activities as possible. Develop alternate ways to comfort yourself. When people are in pain they seek comfort in healthy and unhealthy ways. Move away from unhealthy methods of comforting yourself such as alcohol, drugs, and overeating, which can actually make your stress and anxiety more severe in the long term.
National Institutes of Health Go to source For example, if helping others, or animals brings you comfort, reach out to others to help instead of staying in your state of discomfort. Looking to others for support and rehearsing healthy responses to difficult situations are two forms of effective coping responses you can use.
National Institutes of Health Go to source. Formulate a plan to build coping skills. Following a problem-solving model will give you a structure for creating change. You must determine clear objectives, implement them, make adjustments as needed and monitor your progress.
National Institutes of Health Go to source Determine clear objectives. One objective may be identified by first keeping a log of how much time you spend ruminating about your issue. This will give you a baseline measure, after which you can state your objective to decrease your time. Self-monitoring leads to real change.
Start as soon as possible. Recognize your growth and reward yourself. If you successfully meet your daily, weekly or monthly objectives, celebrate your accomplishments. Perhaps you could go to a movie, attend a sporting event or plant a tree in honor of someone you admire. Positive reinforcement will motivate you to continue with your plan.
Find an alternative and plug it into your plan. Your new behaviors will build over time and become second nature to you. You can fade or lessen your strict adherence to the steps of your plan and maintain positive outcomes. Learn how to relax. Stress and fear contribute to emotional pain, and relaxation can help. If a situation gets you down, you will have the relaxation skills you learn to help you manage.
There are various relaxation methods that include: [13] X Research source Use guided imagery to help you visually imagine a calm place or circumstance. You can seek the help of a therapist for this or develop the skill on your own.
Use biofeedback to lessen your fear and pain by lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. Use breathing exercises to quiet your fight-or-flight reactions, which are ignited by feelings of pain and fear, as well as reduce your stress and anxiety.
Method 2. Be aware of your emotional triggers. You are likely aware of those things that occur that cause you to have an emotional response. These are emotional triggers. Take the time to think about the things that trigger your emotional responses. It is time to demonstrate your best personal introspection skills accessing your own thoughts and feelings to get to the heart of the matter and find out what is causing your pain. National Institutes of Health Go to source See things as they occur in a slower speed.
This will allow you to diffuse your triggers and discern if a threat is real, and respond in a reasonable way. Challenge your thoughts and feelings about getting nervous in certain situations. If you get nervous when you go to a party where your friends are the only attendees, remind yourself that these people are your friends and they accept you for who you are.
The use of positive self-talk will help diffuse your nerves.
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